i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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