this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
In other news, I just burned my penis
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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