Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
