you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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