My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
