grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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