Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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