I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
