Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
