I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
