Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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