WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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