forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Say something about gay babies.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
