I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
