haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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