it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
