Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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