Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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