so explain again why im purple
no
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
