i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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