Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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