My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
