I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
