he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
