We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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