Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
