walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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