dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
