whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize