Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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