I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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