I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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