from now on my penis is your penis
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
