whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I love you. Go after that dick
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