Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
