what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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