I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
