Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
