We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
