it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
