when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
