I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
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It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
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sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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