I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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