I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
