So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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