PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
