weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
