my sisters under your porch take her home
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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