I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Life is so much better after having sex.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize