This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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