I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
