Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
