I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
