i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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