toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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