..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
