I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
