i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
