if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
