some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
