Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
