I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize