Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
