Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
kristin has been a bad kristin
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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