Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
