you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
