I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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